So Many Extras

Get away from me, dirt lady! -John

We'll call you Gary the Cable Guy. -Ephraim

Ooh. Show me that action again. That was hot. -Micah

I only wear it because I believe in it. -Gary

You can get older, or you can die. That's it. Those are your options. -John

The two ladies in bonnets? -Phil
*snort* They're all in bonnets. -Shiloh

I'm like a lizard. Just sayin'. -Jordan

Todd, I think if you could treat them like cattle as much as possible, that would boost morale. -Phil

I think I have a cattle prod in my car. -Phil

I'm not sitting by anybody, so I can't get any. -Shiloh
Get any? -Felicia
Quotes. -Shiloh

Lauren, you carry the hoe. sings: Lauren has a hoe. -Jessica
That makes you a pimp Lauren. -Morgan

What kind of kettle do they cook kettle chips in? -Morgan
Not this kind of kettle (tea kettle). -Jessica
Yeah, cuz if they didn't it wouldn't steam, it would say, "Your chips are crispy!" -Morgan

I feel dirtier than all the other extras. -Felicia

I check myself out in everything I can. -Felicia

Where is my gay friend Steven? -Felicia

Can we go off campus for lunch? -Morgan

Ice cream is my specialty. -Amanda

This is who I sit by, all day, everyday. -Kristen

Don't lose that pencil! I haven't lost a pencil in a day and a half. That's a record for me. -Kristen

There are all sorts of pioneer-y people hanging around. -Spencer
I thought you were gonna say pioneer pimps. -Felicia
Can you even do that? -Spencer
Do what? Pimp a pioneer? -Felicia

Whoa. We have a boom operating extra. -Jessica

It's things like that make me feel perma-fried. -Todd

Todd, can you get all the single people on the crew to start meeting up on the weekends, maybe go on some dates? -Phil
Copy, that. I'll set some PA's on that right away. -Jordan
And remind them that they need to be taking better care of their skin. -Phil
Makeup will get on that. -Shiloh
Also, if you could remind all the girls on the crew that I'm married? I've had some awkward moments. -Phil
Damn. -Bree

Yeah, I can be gangster. Look at these pants bro. -Bree

It's how I show my love. If I haven't punched you, I don't love you. -JB

Bree, that guy with the beard, is that Jesus? -Tom

I want to hit you in the head with that. -Jordan Augustine
I think my head would explode. -Jordan Peterson

How much do you believe in horoscopes? -Phil
What's higher than 100%? -Tom
Zero. -Derek
That's how much I believe in horoscopes. -Tom

I remember being an infant. Not fun. -Derek

I wanna be a ninja when I grow up. -Jordan

Never underestimate the cold. -Todd

Hey Slackjaw!

That's a heater there. -Jon Gries

He's too fast! -John
He's a fast dude. -Tom

You spawned evil! -Tom

I've got brown lung. -Jon

Jen-Jen, I'm worried this is gonna hurt you. -Jessica
I'm invincible, remember? -Jennie

Mormons aren't that cultish. -Jennie

I'm like, drunk on insomnia. -LeGrand

I don't know how much longer I can stand looking at you girls. -Megan

I got you in the face! -John

Fuh! That's a snake! -Leslie
Don't throw branches at it! -Tom Leffler
I think it's dead. -Leslie

Fire is up. Chicken's in the hole. -Phil

Poor Jessica, having to hold the chicken. -Shiloh
Poor us, having to look at the chicken. -Sam

Herbert Q. Featherstone. But we call him Herby for short. -Jessica

It's a party at the MPS. Per usual. -Jennie

Herby's starting to stink, guys. -Jessica
We've named him? -Sam

Herbert, Egbert, and Blanche. Or Roxanne. I just want it to have an 1800's kind of sound. We could call it Meade. -Jessica

Playing cowboys is hard work. -Jon

Herby's dying. -Jessica
Dying? He's already dead. -Shiloh
Don't say that! -Jessica

Don't get any of that chicken schmutz on my hat. -Jon

I would have punched you so hard you would have been castrated. -Derek

I'm like a horse. I hear people behind me, and I get skittish, and I don't want to run into them . . . -Derek

There are so many words flying around here. -Phil

Can you just pour all that olive juice in my mouth? -Phil

Look how far I can stick it in! -Brandon
It would be more impressive if it weren't wet. -Steven

We're burning clouds people. -Ephraim

Melweena is a good name for it. -Jessica

You got me good with the chicken that time. -Jon

He rules with a cotton puff fist. -Derek, about Phil

Melweena's had an accident. -Tamsen
She may have. -Jessica

I just wanna be warm. -Mary

I'm a trashy, trashy girl. -Felicia

Ahh, the cake's gone! Mm, love that cake. -Tom
You must acquire a Wyatt to go to the FSSS. -Jessica

Hello Shiloh, and my new friend Steven. You shall shield me from the rocks being pelted at my tooshie. -Felicia

Melanie, did you name the spider last night, or did I dream that? -Felicia
Harold. -Melanie
Harold! All I could think of was Hubert. Can we name something Hubert? -Felicia
How about the blender? -Melanie
My magic bullet. My magic bullet's name is now Hubert. -Felicia

I don't have enough shirts that I want to wear on set. -Derek

I sleep and drive. -Bryan

You wouldn't understand, Derek. It's about science. -David
It's not about science, it's about sewing. -Derek

My camera's being dumb. -Kristen
Take the dumb chip out of it. -Bryan

Standby for thinking. -Todd

Say something hot. -David
Who wants a body massage? -Chris

I love the smell of gunpowder in the morning. -Jon

This is a precious moment. -Steven
You're right Jon. We've got ones and zeroes out the wazoo. -Tom

Where'd my facehole go? -Jon

Whip him like you own him. -Don
No, whip him like I borrowed him. -John

What did you think of sister missionaries? -Spencer
They got hotter as their mission went on. -Ephraim

My brain is hardened sugar. -Jordan

C'mon script writer. You can change that. -John

Ah, damn. -Shiloh

You're related to Phil? I want to be related to Phil. Phil is a god in my eyes. -Steven

I hate it when people sue everybody. -Asia

Bill, I will hammer you like a borrowed mule. -Tom

That's the haircut office. -Random Passing Boy

I'm such a little slut. -Felicia

It sounds like a caravan of wagons to me. -Bryan
They're about to crash. -Tom
It's the Wright Brothers, passing by. -Kristen

LeGrand's a handsome man. -Tom

Scene Shop for a Sound Stage

Cambodia's not near Mexico. -James

I'm not gonna sign something without a signature. I mean, a walkie. -Will

I'm gonna look like a pig, walking back with all this food. -Erica
No, you just stuff it in your pockets. -Shiloh
And in your bra. -Tong

I like the word 'waftafaloosha'. -Melanie

It's the beard. It's more official. -Melanie
Maybe he needs some war paint. -Felicia

What makes a regular person look like they're from Jesus times? Their teeth? -Jessica

The weird thing is, I know their makeup artist. -Shiloh
That girl? -Lauren
No. He's a guy. -Shiloh

It's a true story. I was there. -Jessica

Although my physical being was unconscious, my spirit soared. -Melanie

I'm sorry I'm crushing your leg. -Melanie
I'm sure you're crushing it like a rock. -Jennie

Jennie is an overachiever, and won't let anyone else play with the toys. -Melanie

It takes the whole art department to put in branches? -Jessica

I feel so educated right now. -Kristen

No movement, no walking. -Todd
No sniffing your nose. -Bryan
Don't think. -Phil
Don't even breathe. -Todd

He has the most beautiful voice in history. -Tom

Well, we have a hailstorm. -Tom

These pants are too tight. I can't pull it out. -Bryan

Who just touched my bum? Oh, it was Jennie. -Felicia
Actually, it wasn't me. Surprisingly enough. -Jennie

What are you talking about? -Shiloh
She seduced someone who may or may not be her mother. -Felicia
Not true! -Melanie

It's cuz I'm always off doing important animal and vehicle things. And trees. Trees are an animal, I think. -Felicia

You should marry him. -Melanie

I kinda want to go hang out with Katie some more, because she feeds me. -Felicia

He's me and Shiloh's gay friend. -Felicia
Can I get out of this friendship? I mean, can I un-friend you? -Steven

Are you sick and demented in the brain? -Brandon

You had internal tears of joy. -Brandon

Quarter Syrian, what is that? That's 25%. That's a failing grade. -Tom

You got a haircut. -Katie
You're one of the ruder people I know. -James

No carb left behind. -Carrie

These are as good as kissing! -Phil on strawberries

I'm getting changed, then I'm going to the bar. -Mr. Corbin

Do you want your chair back? -Bryan
I actually kind of like sitting on an apple box. -Kristen

I brainwashed them. -Jessica

It's as true as doctrine. -Bryce

What rating are you going for? -Kristen
X. -Tom

Yeah, that'll work. -Derek
Your mom'll work. -David

Are you allergic to yawning? -Bryce
No. Yes, I believe yawning is contagious, it's infectious, but no, I'm not allergic to it. I don't sneeze when people yawn. -Shiloh

Relax in your shackles. -Tom

Oh, the life of a stand-in. -Bryce

By the end of it, I was script supervising. Look what you've done to me. -Kristen to Bryce

Let's wrap this burrito. -Bryce

Those were all attached, but they weren't. They were separate ideas. -Jessica

That sound means you're hitting something bad. -Tom

Cambodia is now England. -Tom

Margot 3

It's ideal entertainment. -Tom, on Lawrence Welk

Wait. The Sugar Plum Fairy is in The Nutcracker. -Todd, Jordan, or Phil

We are family! We are family!-Bree and Brandon, singing
That explains so much. -Shiloh
Hey! You're part of the family too, loser! -Bree

So, if I join wardrobe, would that mean an end to the hug-sniffs? -Brandon

There is someone for everyone. -Melanie

Just a big, hairy dinosaur. -Phil
You're not a dinosaur. -John
If he had scales and a tail, he would be a dinosaur. -Phil

Don't ruin my head! -Spencer

You know you want some. -Kristen
I kind of do. -Phil
Too bad. You're married. -Jessica

Can you feel the knots? -Kristen
Everyone has knots. Everyone's knotty. -Jessica

Can you take me to pee? I have to pee. They should just dig a hole out here. Ooh! Look at your hair! It's just like a pixie! That is just the most darling thing! -Margot to Jeremy

Turns out I'm no Miley Cyrus . . . I can pole dance, but . . . sorry. -Jennie

I'm making everyone weird on the set. I'm infectious. -Todd

Where the hell is my shovel? Who stole my shovel? -Margot

Places everybody. This is your place? -Bill
Yep. -Shiloh
Where's yours? -Amanda
I . . . don't know. -Bill

You Mormons have prayers that work! We won! -Margot

I'm a victim of the new math. -Bill

Margot Day 2

Cambodia's the circle place. -Mary
No, that's the Earth. -Jordan

Jordan to A. Todd. -Jordan
My name is A. Todd. -Todd
I have the bumbershoots. -Jordan

Moving on to 117 Delta. -Phil
I prefer Southwest, but we'll do Delta. -Bryan

You'll notice it says 'poorly' at the top of the script. -Tom

Amazing Grace isn't in our hymnal. That's evil. -Tom

It's about fallen people. We're Boy Scouts. We're PR people. We're PR righteous people. -Tom

Sophia, can you check on the lawn mower man? Tell him we love him. What he's doing is not that important. -Phil

It wouldn't go moldy, it would just go wrong. -Melanie

I just decided to call her a name which is not her own. That was rude of me. -Melanie

Oh, you're doing it too? -Bryan to Shiloh about whistling to the birds

Did you hear those voices Tommy? -Courtney
Oh yeah. I hear them all the time. -Bill

Sophia, you're so buff. -Kristen

Hey Derek, I think there's a continuity problem showing LeGrand in the shot. I mean, where did he come from? -Tom

No mandarin chicken left behind please. -Stephen

Did I just snap? -Jordan
Twice. -Bill
Oh, shoot. -Jordan

I'm going to fall out the side. -Lauren
That's why there's those grips to hold onto. -Whitney
Yeah, those Grips are good to hold onto. -Jennie

I really appreciate how you said prayer today with a rolling pin. -Kristen

They have diet coke, we discovered, which is monumental to me. -Kristen
No thanks. I just generally drink lard. -Tom

You just beat me all the time Shiloh. -Phil

Moving onto 117 Kelvin. -Phil
This is film-making, not chemistry. -Courtney

How's the ground? -Derek
It looks groundy. -Byron

That's 'cuz she's freakin-the-bomb.com. -Jordan

You're gonna get wet and your costume's gonna show it. Mister Macho. -Margot

Can I sit in the chair that says Margot Kidder? -John

I had to give it up for old age. -John

A little beer, a pain pill, I'm gonna be a happy camper. -Margot

We can bring you right out and stick you on your sticks. -Derek
We have to win! You're Mormons. PRAY! -Margot

1st Day with Margot

What kind of women are you? Do you want a Canadian to show you how to start a fire? -Margot Kidder

Don't look! Dead chicken! -Kristen

We don't do anything except eat . . . and bond. -Lauren

Standby for cloud . . . cloudy with a chance of movie making. -Phil

Did you chop its head off? -Lauren
Yeah. I used scissors. -Tamsen

When did they invent flipping the bird? -John Freeman
You can flip that bird. -Tom
That's where it came from. -John

What could cover that traffic noise? -Tom
A bubbling creek? Cows? -Derek
Chickens? -John
Rats? -David

Especially with Tom's scripts. He thinks his jokes are funny, so he laughs a lot. I bet Mr. Dungbeetle was probably the hardest thing he's done. -Jessica

Phil for Sophia. Let me know what you hear about the chainsaw people. -Phil

Picture's up! Picture's down. Too much sun. -Phil

My ears are very fleshy. -Jennie

She stood up and my walkie talkie ripped hers off her pants. -Jessica

So, Pueblo's name. It doesn't seem American. -Sophia
What's an American name, anyway? Blue Cloud? -Jessica

Just joking. I'm not interested. -Sophia

The delivery was just beautiful. -Jessica

You look like you have three hands. -Sophia

What happened to your unibomber outfit? -Shiloh

Hey Bree, can I get the Old Spice deodorant? I'm kinda stinky after all these steady-cam shots. -Derek
Let's just go shirt off. Shirt off mate. -Bree
No, don't! Don't listen to the girl. -Tom

You're gonna eat that? It's been on chicken ice. -Tara
I don't care, it's in its own container. -Jessica
Yeah, if I croak you'll know to be worried then. -Tamsen
Yeah, I mean, Tamsen's been intimate with the chicken. -Jessica

Why am I so dirty all the time? -John

We figured out why you never have to pee. You never drink. -Margot

I'm goin' to In'n'Out Burger. We don't have 'em up where I'm from. -John

I hate Sudafed. It makes me crazy. -Amanda

Can you please yell quiet as loud as you can? -Phil

Who are you? -Megan to A. Todd
That's what I was asking earlier. When we were dancing. -Jordan

Cue the police department. -Bill

Man, we are in tall cotton now. -Bill

What are you doing? You're not supposed to touch anything! -Bill
This is a mark to protect me, not hurt me! -Tom

I can pay for a chainsaw, but don't make me buy an airplane. -Bill

That's nice. Right there, that looks swell. -Bryan
Tom's hiney, that's what he's talking about. -Bill

He's a real camera man. I can tell. -Margot

Killing Actors

Guess you're pretty proud of yourself. That why your hat's backwards. -James
Yeah. And the sun is behind me. -Bryan
Prove it. -James

I should've worn my collar popped up so I wouldn't get sunburned, but I didn't want to look like an idiot. -Phil

I would rather look like an idiot with a popped collar than an idiot with a sunburn. -Sam

Have you seen the ugly chicken? -Jessica

Can you grow your beard down to about here by Tuesday? -Shiloh
I can grow it to my toes. -Jordan
Do it! -Shiloh
And then we can braid it! -Amanda
I came in late to this conversation, but I already feel like vomiting. -Tom
Braiding my beard. -Jordan
Eeaughoh XP -Tom

I rapped. I am so hip hop. -Tom

I love misty violet. -Bryan
O_o -Shiloh and Amanda

They've got good sushi, and then they've got more accessible sushi. -Brandon

My English degraded there for a second. -Jessica

What are we doing? -Jessica
Making a movie. -Jennie

I'm gonna make a movie about my life and call it "Kinda Awesome." -Phil

Your face looks like a little creature. -Babetta
Yours does too. 'Cuz it's the same as mine. -Brynn
Dang it. -Babetta

To HELL with the FedEx Truck. -Bryan

Touching. -Steven
Touch on. -Brandon

Can somebody teach me to act? This method thing isn't working for me. -Jean Baptiste, after not being able to deliver his lines due to being choked

Picnic

This is my unibomber on vacation outfit. -Bryce

That's such a stupid game. Let's punch each other! -Jessica

I've got a bug in my juice. Don't quote that. -Jessica

Not too shabby. -Shiloh
What? -Lauren
The cornbread. Not too shabby. -Shiloh
Hmm? I heard "too shabby". Someone must have impressed you. -Jessica
The cornbread. It's not. Too. Shabby. -Shiloh

Derek's pretty attractive. -Sophia
I've been waiting this whole time for someone to say that. Say it again. -Jessica
Derek's pretty attractive. -Sophia

He doesn't have time for sleep, or friends. Or a life. -Jennie

You just got ice cream in your hair dear. -Felicia
It looks like highlights. -Tamison

Day of the Deer

Hey Todd, try sending one of our carrier pigeons to talk to the lawn mower guy. -Phil
One what? -Todd
I was gonna say try a pigeon. Or maybe the paper airplane thing. -Phil

If lawns didn't grown, you wouldn't have to mow them. -

I go. I knock on the cabin door. It's very strange. -John Freeman

You've got the right to not do anything. -Tod Huntington
And then I'll shoot you. -Tom

It smells like DI in here. -Tod Huntington
That's because it is. -Asia

Ok, let's do this. Before the lawn mower from Hell returns. -Tom

Hey Bree, could you come check my wardrobe? I'm feeling a little self-conscious. I just think it could do a little more for my shape. -Phil
I don't think we can do anything about that. -Bree
Phil's busy asking Tom's opinion on his sexy body. -Babetta

Todd to Jo-ordan. Where are you? -Todd
I'm in the production office. But I'm in the crafty part. -Jordan

Would you like to sleep in a pile of shit? -Margot
The cows sure did. -John

Wait, where are you from? -Shiloh
I'm from Kansas. -Sophia
Oh. I don't know if we can be friends anymore. -Shiloh

We always let the pretty people run the set. -Jessica

What are you doing Shiloh? -
I'm taking pictures of people and their toastiness. -Shiloh
Toasty people. -Tara

Can I have a Dr. Pepper? -
Can I have a Coke while you're at it? -
Can I have a water? -
Can I have a beer? -Bree

This heater feels like the sun on my face-brain. -ToddThat was weird. Why did you do that? -Jordan
My brain is wobbly. -Todd

I thought that was a man-flea. -Todd

Are you calling me a soda . . . drinker? -Melanie

Hey Bree, can I get a big Audrey Hepburn hat to block the sun please? -Derek
Are you serious? -Bree
Yeah. I just want to wear it. -DerekHey Jessica, when picture's up, where is the friends circle gonna sit? -Phil

Well, I'm gonna leave you in charge of video village here . . . sandbag the ever livin' crap out of everything. -David
Hey Mel, Tombstone is flapping in the wind. -Phil

We forgot to turn on the missile launcher. -Bryan
No, it's on. We're out of missiles. -Phil
Guys, we don't actually have any missiles. No missiles on set. -James

Wipe away my ghetto fingerprints. Ghetto fingers. Ghetto hands. -Melanie

Is that a child? -Melanie
Also, if the deer could join us, that would be great. -Phil
No, don't sign them. We don't have the budget. They're union. -Bill
No, they're stag. -Phil

Don't forget I have a megaphone. -Phil

I'll climb the tree. Actually, no I won't. I'm in no mood for climbing trees. -Bree

You don't know how euphoric that . . . that sound . . that is so beautiful. -Bree

Dinner. My favorite part of the day. -Bree

I got so close to them! I wish I had a gun. -Shiloh

The bandana hides so much. You have no idea. -Shiloh

What if one of them started eating the tombstones? That would make my day. -Bree

Shiloh to camera please. I need your bandana. -Phil

Oh look. An expensive camera. -Bree

Cut! Let's go pee. -Tom
I'm glad we caught up. Because earlier in the day, it was stressful. Made my mind want to blow up. -Todd

I'm being a mom. -Phil

Won't you give me a sec? No one ever gives me a sec. -Byron
Nope. No secs for you. -Phil

He doesn't have to fully gobble, but the faster the better. -Phil

What? I went pee for 118 seconds, grabbed some dinner and talked to Margie. Where's the problem? -Tom

Good job holding the tin cup. -Todd
Actually Todd, it's copper. Way to fail. -Shiloh

Hey! Vegetarian! I called you. -MarSchelle

Oh, what a messed up day. -Todd