Night at the Graveyard

That's one weird dude. -Todd
You're one to speak. -Kristen
Says A. Todd Smith. -Babetta

How dare you talk about my mother! -Phil (through his megaphone)

Run, Tommy run! Don't trip. -Jessica

Run, Jessica, run! Oh, maybe not with an axe. -Kristen

I have to stand around Tom. He keeps feeding me my lines. -Bill

Brandon looks like he's about to charge somebody. -Tom

Make us look good. For Facebook you know. My mom. -Phil

My brain is unthawed. -Brandon

Robots dancing in the graveyard. -Jordan A.

I didn't realize it was possible to spoon in these chairs. -Sam

The cow is married, may I remind you? -Kristen

2nd Day on the Sound Stage

Todd to Courtney. -Todd
Word to your mother. -Courtney
I appreciate how official that was. -Todd

You look like such a nerd Bill! -Tom

I love how he's speaking through the megaphone, telling us to be quiet. -Brandon

I loved that cat. I loved it. -Todd
Todd ate that cat after it died. -Tom

Why do you always talk about your damn cat? No one cares about your cat. -Tom
My cat used to wear boots. -Todd
Were they fur boots? -Kristen

The tunnels were massive in your ant farm . . . because they were hamsters. -Tom

I was waiting to see how far you were gonna go with the cat thing. -Phil

Am I still talking like a drunk guy? -Tom
It's half Jack Sparrow, half Bill Nelson. -Phil

Can we have a Tom-versation? -Kristen

Sexton's Quarters

Do we have a couple missiles in stock? -Phil
Yeah. We can shoot 'em down. -Tom

Phil, where's your megaphone? -Kristen

Holy cow man. The people in my head will not stop talking. -Spencer

Kristen, would you rather take a bath in melted chocolate or melted cheese? -Phil
What?!? That is inappropriate. You are married! -Tom

There's Joel again . . . whom I want to marry secretly. -Tom

You have a leaf in your hair. -Sophia
Please get it out of me. -Tess

There's a cup in the background. -Derek
Ohh. Was it there the whole time? -Tom
No, it was popping in and out. -Phil

I love whispering to people in the same room. -Phil

Can you put that uh . . . that clappy thing in front of him? -Phil

Thanks for the reminder. -Todd
Thanks for the friendship. -Phil
I think it's called Gulf War bombing scope. -Phil

I think we should play hide and seek on the way down to the cemetery.
*excited nods from surrounding group*
I'll be hiding down in the grave. Oh! I shouldn't have said that! -Tom

What is that awful stench? Oh. It's my flesh. -Jack

1st Day on the Sound Stage

Hey, hey Brighe. Can I get one of those? -Jordan P.
One what? -Bree
An apology. -Jordan P.
Oh, we're on set. Good day to you. -Bree

Hold for loud bell. -Phil

Hugh! I closed my face in the door. -Tom

Cut! I will marry Clay McCaw. -Tom

Oreos are yummier! -Melanie

It's all fun and tap dance games until someone booms their eye out. -Sean

Brandon, lay off the acid. -Tom

Man, Thorpe has a song for every occasion. -Tom

Standby for Optimus Prime. -Phil
*snort* He is such a wiener. -Tom

Arachnids are like robots. -David

What did Jordan say? Quietly now? That was absolutely not helpful. -Tom

Which is, incidentally, what I do. I hang out in jails to taunt the inmates. -Sean
Who doesn't? -Tom

Ready? -Tom
Nope. -Derek
Action! -Tom

First Few Days

What if I make that noise? Will it make it better? -Tom

Is that an airplane? -Tom
I thought you cleared this airspace. -Phil

You've never had sunflower seeds?! -Isaac Russell
Nope. -Bree
Oh sweetheart. -Clay
That's all Stephen thinks I am anyway. A snack tray. -Melanie

I am an expert snipper. -Jessica
No caffeine Sam. Sam, don't look at me like that. -Stephen

I boil water. -Jessica

I want real toast. Not kitty toast. -TamisonIn case craft fails. -Babetta

I have like, 3 kids. -Derek
Out of wedlock doesn't count. Spring Break in Jamaica doesn't count. -Tom

Zombie cancer. Tell your friends. -Brandon
You can't approach socially awkward people. They do random things, like . . . kick you. -Steven

Hey everyone, while the gun is going off . . . you should cover your ears. -Jordan A.

Your hat is safe. -Clay McCaw

I've got so much sugar pumping through me. I mean, I'm drinking cider for the whiskey. -Ed Herrmann

My shoes are uncomfortable. -Phil

I appreciate you, appreciating everyone being quiet. -James
I appreciate that. -Phil

They should not use the term "fire" so casually. -Melanie

Introduction

So, I'm sure that by now almost everyone on set has seen me scribbling things down constantly, or they've seen people reading my notebook and laughing, or they've heard of the quote book. I want these to be available to everyone, so instead of typing them up and getting them printed for everyone (which would be beyond expensive), they're getting typed up here. A lot of these quotes have pictures that go with them, but I don't have them all, so this site will probably be getting updated constantly until I do. The quotes will be posted in groups of which days they were written, as far as I can figure them out. I unfortunately did not think to date them, so there's definitely going to be some spillover. However, I don't think it matters too much. If you hear quotes on set, come find me and write them down, or come here and post them. I'm always looking for more. Enjoy!