Rainy Day in the Canyon

Way to break the movie, Bree. -Courtney

Cones just help everybody know what to do. -Phil

I have awful things to say about that, so I'm not going to say anything. -Tom

Is that your defroster? -Tom
I've actually never seen that button. -Phil

I think Derek's a chauvinist pig. -Tom

You can see the party happening over there. Look at the windows fogging up. -Derek

It's like memory foam. It's sleep number, on the ceiling! -Felicia

Look, it's the gayest kid on set! -James

Stephen, did you bring the Nutella? -Shiloh
Yeah. -Stephen
Will you marry me? -Shiloh
. . . Have some gummies. -Stephen

There is nothing you can't act with a limp and a lisp. -Sean

Where ya gonna put the stick? -Stephen
Right up it. -Jessica

Beautiful place. Beautiful crew. -Tom

If you prayed for this, say a little prayer of gratitude. -Phil
For what, the sun or the rain? -Shiloh
If you prayed for the rain, you can just leave. -Phil
Say a prayer of repentance, you blasphemer. -Felicia

I think Ron's louder than your megaphone. -Felicia
Crap. Thanks a lot, duller image. -Phil

I say we all just run down there and beat him to death. -Tom

That was a premature bang. -Kristen

Everyone take a grape please. -Stephen
What's wrong with them? -Shiloh
They're filled with laxatives. And I don't want anymore laxative grapes. -Stephen

Please don't breathe into the mike like a creep. -Phil

Felicia! You're such a creeper! -Jennie

I lost my galosh. -Felicia

Oh, poor you in your shorts. -Babetta
I have something positive to say! At least there's less pant to get wet. -Felicia

Goin' on a cruise, gotta look good with my shirt off. -Phil

Hey girls! And LeGrand. -Phil

Jessica! You're the patriarch in this car - pick someone to pray. -Jennie
I'm not a patriarch, I'm a matriarch. -Jessica
We don't have a patriarch. The only testosterone in this car just left. -Babetta

Hey magical bus of fun, we're ready for you. -Phil

Fenton Quinn is a hobbit. -Babetta

There's a lot of cold out there. -Jennie

I don't want to waste water. Or garbage. -Felicia

I think I knew a Hawaiian girl named that. -Phil

Well, in that case, good. -Phil
In the case of Ron's son being a Hawaiian girl? -Felicia
Yes. -Phil

I love me a good chick bunny. -Jennie

I love the rain. It's just massaging my brain to sleep. -Brandon

I love horses! -Tom

That one's kind of the Beyonce of the group. -Phil

Smoke is fire that's not hot enough. -Tom

You guys know I can hear everything you say, right? -Bryan
Ha ha! I said something nice. The rest of you are busted. -Tom

It is now approaching the chicken. Not in grotesqueness, but in pathetic-ness. -Tom

That's TFU. -A. Todd
I don't know what that means. -Felicia

I am the one with the wilderness. -A. Todd

There's nothing like peeing yourself. -A. Todd

You guys can go get all horsed up. -Tom

I think, secretly, Rone Clawson wants to be Henry Heath, but he keeps getting in trouble. -Chris

Are we done? -Sophia
I think that Tom just likes clapping. -Bree

Goshen Canyon

I'm so good at stunts. Stunts and special effects, that's my middle name. -Tom

People, I'm gonna get you all. For littering. -Melanie

Derek's dumb. For such a smart guy, you're really dumb. -Tom

Film is just so cool some of the time. All the time. -Kristen

I lost the gun again. -Alex

Have I shown ya how to . . . this thing? -Bryan

I'm not spending $40 on a girl unless I'm getting something out of it. And I'm not talking a smile and a hug. -Gary Reimer

I judge people by their movie choices. -Bree

So, basically, pickup lines aren't about brain, they're about brawn? -Brandon
Yeah. -Felicia

Oh look, now I'm down on your level. -Bree

No one told me there was a freaking bridge! -Bree

I'm not sorry at all. In fact, I wish worse things had happened. -Tom

I love running with scissors. Now my feet are wet. I hate movies. -Tom

Let's do it again, Tom. If you care. -Phil
I don't care. -Tom

Derek's drunk again. As usual. -Tom

We've torn out more crotches in this film . . . -Tom

That was not making fun, that was love. -Derek

Let's all make out, and then we can go home. -Alex

I make awkward noises when I'm happy. -Melanie

Fenton kinda looks like one of the grandmas from my film right now. -Phil

I gave up all my morals to get a few more dollars in tips. -Melanie

It's true. I'm a cheap pirate wench. -Melanie

This film has ruined my nails. -Bree

Cue the wind. And the rain. -Bill

I need my criticism-phone. -Phil

Standby for lube. That's not a joke. -Phil

We're having audio issues. -Bill
What issues? -Tom
There is a train. -Bill
What was that? I can't hear you over the train. -Tom

So addicted. -Phil

If you don't want them to bug you, you need to wear more clothes. -Melanie
More clothes? But it's hot . . . earlier. -Stephen

What starts today? -Felicia
Your mom. -Melanie

I wonder how many of today's tans are gonna wash off when people get home? -Melanie

Oh, poppycock. -Babetta
Don't use such language, Babetta. -Bree

You don't really want it, but deep down you're saying, "I want SUGAR!" -Bree

Let's just have a plane write a big sign in the sky that says, "SHUT UP!" -Melanie

How are your pants holding up Heath? -Phil
Actually, they're doing great. -John

He's a little guy . . . but he scares the jumpy out of me. -Jordan

It's a Wyatt head! -Kristen

Do you have any arms to spare? -Kristen

If you could tell Hobbes to smile a little bigger, that'd be great. -Phil

Best Sound Day Ever

It's so old that it's not even there anymore! -Kai

Love that backin' up beep. It is my best friend on this shoot. -Tom

Yoinkers. . .and yoinky-doink. -Ephraim

Standby for wrappage. -Amanda
Rapid wrappage. -Tom

Derek, don't talk to me! -Tom

This is when the women in the audience go, "He's not all that bad." -John
This is the chick flick moment of the movie. -Tom

(singing) I love shooting on location, it's my favorite thing on earth. -Tom

Teeny-tiny mini micro shorts. Kickin' high. -Robyn
Kickin' high. Who's the target market for this stuff? -Tom

The sound gods are not strong with us today. We must have offended them. -Bryan
We must offer them a sacrifice. -Brandon
Yes. The 1st or 2nd AD. -Bryan

This is the day of amazing sounds. -Tom
It's actually a national holiday. -Jordan
You would think it would be a Saturday or something. It's just a phenomenal sound day. -Tom

Pigeon toes! -Jordan

You're fine Mr. Anal-Retentive. Let's go. -Tom

We said if you ever got unhappy, we'd call you negative Phil. -Tom

All I wanna do is spend time with you forever. Like, a million hours a day. -Jennie to Babetta

Derek, you're a good dancer. -Tom

Wait, go to channel . . . different. -A. Todd

I wanna horse and long lowing locks of love. -Jordan

There's a difference. Sweater, hoodie, jacket. -Kristen
Jumper, jumper . . . cardigan. -Bree

Silence is golden, like the sun. Golden-brown and textured like the sun. -Derek

I have little Asian toes. -Sophia
I didn't know that was a thing. -Mary
They look like a cow's. -Sophia
Cows have hoofs. -Felicia
*pause* Exactly. -Sophia

One of the actors pooped. Back to one. -Tom

Rehearsal's up! -Phil
Cue bullet bike. -Tom

Hobbs, we love the way you move. -Tom

I can't put my headphones on, I have a sandwich in my had. AAHHH!!! -Tom

How do you spell sandwich? -Brandon
Aah! No, no 't'! -Kristen

These sandbags are so effective. -Kristen

Oh look. The horse is loose again. -Shiloh

I'm a chicken model. I just work those chicken talents. -Jessica

Why are you following me with that? I walked away from you on purpose. -Melanie

We eat friends. That's what we do to them. -Melanie

Probably the best thing to do on set is stand here with a naked chicken and watch people walk up to me and go "eww." -Jessica

Several people have given me a talking to. It's the combined peer pressure. -Jennie

Latex gloves. Actually, they were made from calf membranes. -John
Udders on both hands. -Tom

We're not having chicken for lunch, are we? -John

For Robbing the Dead McNuggets. -Bill

I will glow, attracting attention to me. -John
You already do bro. -Tom

Closeup? Am I on camera? -John

Here's a man who can get a set quiet. -Tom

This is my plucking position. -John

I can, I will, I'm gonna, I'm doin' it. -Tom

Please reload the buckets with the feathers and the membranes. -Phil

Did you know that today is National Dance Like a Chicken Day? -Bill
You lie. It lies. Everyone lies. -Tom

You don't have to care about Blanche, but don't hurt my feelings. -Jessica

Is the chicken wrapped? -Jessica
Is this a picture wrap for . . . . -John
For Blanche? -Jessica

It helps if you're slightly insane. -Bill

That David Thorpe's kinda handsome on film too ya know. -Tom

That is so disturbing to me. Carrying a mutilated corpse around. -

Could somebody go over and kill the person talking on the loudspeaker? -Tom

Blanche does the best chicken dance out of anyone. -Jessica

Hey Jessica. Make the chicken talk. -Phil

Stick 'em up! We're here on a soda raid. -Kristen

You're a tease and a murderer. -Rachel
Nobody's perfect. -Shiloh

It's stuck in people's hands. Their head-brains are exploding. -A. Todd

This is a sweet hug. This is a kindly sweet hug. Nothin' wrong with a little man love. -Tom
Would you like some sir? -Gary
. . . Sure. -Tom

We're ready for Heath's horse - Jango Fett, or whatever his name is. -Phil

I'm going to build a city, and leading up to that city will be Badger Ridge. -Tom

Them badgers'll bite ya. -Tom

Emphasis on the 'BIG' for the white chocolate mocha. -A. Todd

My personal favorite is peanut butter and onion sandwich. -Grant
How do you eat that? -Jordan
With my mouth. -Grant

That's vintage Tom. -Bill

all to A. Todd
I will hit you in the throat. -Tom
I will sock you in the neck. -Bill
I will shove a needle in your eye. -Tom

You made a really cute baby. -Tom
They come great from Russia. -Micah

Shiloh fell off herself! -Melanie

It's raining! It's the kind you can't feel, but you can see. -Robyn

My only caution is, if I don't like a certain take, I will splash my Dr. Pepper all over the monitor. And then I'll kick it. -Tom

You wanna give me a perm? It would be awesome - I would have a fro for the rest of the shoot. -A. Todd

I've given out tons of candy and gotten hardly any trash. Quit lying to me. -Stephen

We need you to hold very still because you're in between the sun and . . . -Phil
The moon. -Tom
And my heart. -Phil

Where's Todd. Oh, he's eating. -Tom

All the whoo became crack. -Jessica

We'll just float, and everyone will see everything. -Kristen

Gary would probably wear nail polish. -Melanie
Darn straight. -Gary

Kentucky fried chicken, try Kentucky fried vegetables. -Kristen

*lisp* It is just my experience with S&M. Shh that's how I knew how to shackle Jean Baptiste. -Tom, playing with the horsewhip

Your cricket is like, on testosterone. -Tom

Derek, you're frightening the children. -Tom
No, she came to me, she wanted to. Oh. She's smiling! Can I keep her? -Derek

I thought you were a man! -Babetta

Who in their right mind likes this weather? -Kristen
Shiloh. -Amanda
Yes, but I'm not in my right mind. -Shiloh

Mormons are so cute. -Robyn
You should see us when we get together with the Amish. -Tom

We used to steal Christmas trees. -Robyn

Places please. -Phil
For real? -John

What do you want with my brain? -Phil

If by funny you mean frightening, then yes. -Felicia

I love martinis. -Felicia

John's finally going mad. -Tom

We have to fix her bangs and his hair . . . well, both their bangs. -Shiloh